essea | [ ELVES CATCHALL POST. ]

[ Damn. Astarion can't relate. He needs to be the most fuckable person at the grocery store. But it's better this way, he thinks; two exceedingly vain creatures would constantly be at each other's throats, and he much prefers Iorveth only to think of being desirable to him, anyway. ]

You're impossibly appealing, [ he coos as he strokes Iorveth's hair. ] If I didn't know any better, I would swear that you made my heart beat again.

[ Unfortunately, he does know better. Still cold and dead in his chest, no matter how much love there is in it. He finds that he doesn't mind being dead, though, as long as it means he gets to spend eternity with his most cherished companion. ]

—Now, I could stay here and praise you all night, I assure you, but I'm afraid the shops will close for the night before long.

[ Please, he definitely can't take being complimented for any longer than this. One more little nuzzle against the side of Astarion's head, and Iorveth draws back to give him some breathing (ha) room. ]

Time to say goodbye to the shoes, then. How disappointing.

[ A tattoo parlor usually stays open much later than boutiques; they're going to have to hurry if Astarion doesn't want Iorveth to continue wearing Waterdhavian Crocs－

－which Iorveth does, in fact, slip into by the time they get ready to go out. He's in a less reprehensible ensemble tonight (a neatly tailored dress shirt in soft cream, sleek black pants with a belt to cinch the waistline in), bolstered by Astarion's claim that he finds Iorveth not unpleasant to look at, but the ugly sandals are still the only feetwear that fit him. Tragique. ]

[ Astarion gives him an obvious up-and-down appraisal, overjoyed that Iorveth is dressed so smartly yet irritated beyond belief by the hideous shoes ruining everything. Honestly, he can never have anything! He gravitates toward Iorveth all the same, hands wrapping around his middle and pulling him in. ]

Mmmm. I suppose those shoes have some purpose after all. If not for them, I'd be inclined to rip your clothes off where you stand.

[ He still is, a little bit, but he's always a little bit inclined to do that. ]

I dare say a chastity belt wouldn't be more effective.

[ Light bullying. He's obviously still pleased with the rest of Iorveth's ensemble, hands wandering up to adjust his collar like an animal grooming another animal. ]

They're shoes, [ Iorveth notes with a twinkle of a laugh, obviously amused by how much his partner seems to sincerely fucking hate these sandals. ] I should keep them just to surprise you every so often.

[ Giving as good as he's getting, on the bullying front. Another huff-laugh, and Iorveth reaches into his picket for the sun-shaped pin he gifted the night before to slot it on Astarion's lapel. Reciprocal fussing alongside the reciprocal ribbing. ]

You look beautiful, by the way.

[ To the tune of "it's sunny outside". It goes without saying, but Iorveth knows Astarion likes to hear it. With that statement of the obvious out of the way, Iorveth leads the both of them outside into the still-lively Waterdhavian nightlife, where a passing dwarf, when inquired, informs the two of them that "Thentavva's Boots" is the best place in the city, nay, perhaps all of Faerûn, to buy quality footwear.

"Thentavva can even fix up what's on your feet now! Make them last centuries!", the dwarf claims, emphatically. ]

Ah. My beloved would like that, I think.

[ Astarion keeps his hand curled around the crook of Iorveth's arm, somewhere between affectionate and possessive. Possessively affectionate, affectionately possessive. He likes the world to know that Iorveth is his, that he has somebody who loves him. He likes when Iorveth calls him 'beloved', too. Very much.

He likes the idea of keeping these awful sandals for centuries far less. Scowling, he says, ] Absolutely not.

[ Boots sound promising, though. No way to make those mesh, he thinks. (And desperately hopes.) ]

Where might we find this Thentavva's?

[ "Not far from here! Just off the High Road", the dwarf booms happily, obviously pleased to be providing critical information about Waterdeep to these two tourists and obviously oblivious to the war raging on regarding the future of Iorveth's ugly sandals.

"The shoes are a bit pricy, mind, but they're well worth it. But ah, what am I saying to two fancy elves like yourselves－ you two look like you can afford a nice pair of boots!"

Iorveth watches as the ruddy stranger give the both of them a once-over, and decides to accept the man's subsequent wink because he's been so helpful. ]

Thank you, [ he offers, flatly but not unkindly. Then, he turns to Astarion and nudges him gently, forehead to forehead. ]

Come, we'll see how much of our wizard's allowance we can spend.

[ Famous last words. ]

[ Astarion tosses the dwarf a wink back before they start to make their way to Thentavva's, grateful for the tip. To the High Road they go, where Astarion spots a small structure between the more towering shops. Unassuming though it might be, it's still Waterdhavian, glamorous in its own way with embellishments of carved stone on the storefront.

He drags Iorveth inside, where he's instantly taken aback by how many fellow shoppers have had the same idea. How dare they! There are people scattered about the crowded interior of the store, some simply admiring the shoes and others trying them on. A young tiefling girl tries on a pair of ballet slippers, to her mother's delight.

His shoulder knocks into a fellow customer, and he gravitates closer to Iorveth, pressing their sides together. ]

Ah. I suppose you do have a point about cities.

[ They can be claustrophobic at times. ]

[ The scent of leather is so thick in the air that Iorveth can swear he tastes it in the back of his throat, rich and bitter with a tang of polish. He nearly trips over a halfling hunched over her pair of loafers ("hey!", she barks at him, indignant), and instinctively reaches for Astarion at the same moment Astarion leans into him. ]

Maybe I don't need new shoes, [ Iorveth grumbles, navigating them between shelves full of heels in various shapes and heights. ] Let's make this quick.

[ His fingers twine around Astarion's, keeping hold while he looks for more practical footwear. There's an entire section devoted to samples of the store's famous thigh-high boots－ "at least nine business days from the day of order until completion"― that he bypasses, though not without an idle comment. ]

You've the legs for those, [ he notes. ]

Obviously.

[ He has the legs for everything! Why else would he wear such tight pants? But he scoffs as they walk by, rolling his eyes. ]

But I fear the squeaking of leather would give my sneaking away.

[ Terribly impractical for a rogue. Nothing would be more embarrassing than being found out because of his thigh-high boots. Iorveth obviously won't be wearing those—although Astarion would certainly enjoy it—so he tugs them past, weaving through the crowd until they make it to a collection of more down-to-earth (but still entirely luxurious) boots.

Astarion plucks up a pair of mid-calf boots made of a clearly fine leather, the color a rich tan. ]

I think the laces on these are rather tantalizing.

[ Like a sexy corset for Iorveth's feet. ]

[ Shame, about the sneaking. Iorveth takes a second to fantasize about Astarion in those long, sleek boots (and little else), and forcefully shoves that thought away before it can distract him further from the task at hand. Thank the gods (that he hates) for the lack of tadpoles in their brains.

As he moves to inspect the sexy-corset-shoes, a calm-looking young human with thick spectacles (Thurve Thentavva the Third, his nameplate reads) calls out from a few feet away: "five gold pieces for the boots in that section."

Five gold pieces for shoes. Iorveth's brow shoots up, and he looks to Astarion with some amount of hesitation. ]

I've killed men for less.

[ The Waterdhavian Crocs were likely one silver piece, if that. Iorveth could buy a whole closet full of them for the price of these boots alone, how terrifying.

Still, he settles himself on the nearest stool to try them on. Mostly for Astarion's benefit, though he's pleased when he shimmies into them and laces them up with ease, finding that they fit him like a well-tailored glove. ]

[ He can hardly fathom how Thentavva is so damned placid; the place is a madhouse. Perhaps the promise of coin from all of his customers keeps him happy. Astarion rolls his eyes at five gold pieces — he could steal these, if he really wanted. The man should be happy to get anything at all. ]

Yes, but you look so very handsome. I'd kill a man just to lay eyes on you.

[ A woman nearby, perusing some very nice heeled shoes, glances back and raises an eyebrow at all of the 'killing a man' talk. ]

We'll buy them, of course.

[ He's made a unilateral decision. The crocs MUST go. He spares them a withering glance where they sit on the floor, lip curling in disgust. ]

And burn those.

[ Thentavva is threading (ha) through the crowd with practiced ease, suggesting sizes and directing confused-looking families to the right corner of the shoebox (double ha)-sized store with quiet authority. It would be impressive if the prices of the footwear didn't feel so exorbitant. Oh well.

Iorveth slips the second boot on, and gets up. (Considers just walking out with them on, but figures that there must be some sort of safeguard against that.) A beat, and he bends down to pick up the crocs sitting sadly on the floor. ]

I wonder if the old woman in Athkatla would want them.

[ How wild would that be. ]

Are you buying anything for yourself? [ Idly thinking about the long boots again. Sue him, he's a red-blooded male. ]

[ A pair of ugly mesh sandals for a daywalking cloak. Seems reasonable. It's not like the old woman will be able to use the cloak, anyway; the crocs are far more practical! Then again, he imagines the type of woman who collects magical trinkets is far from practical.

His mood has clearly been lifted by the removal of The Crocs from Iorveth's feet. Leaning back against a shelf of shoes, Astarion cocks his head, the corner of his mouth turned up. ]

Why don't you pick something out for me? I did it for you.

[ Not like he got anything out of it, or anything. ]

[ Iorveth's single green eye narrows. Clearly, he is Wondering; does Astarion have a sixth sense for when someone is thinking inappropriate thoughts about him? Iorveth's in danger, if he does.

Maybe he should pick something horrible just to play it cool. Waterdhavian Uggs. The really ugly formless ones that make everyone wearing them look like they have cankles. Then again, that might get Iorveth broken up with, and being dumped while a little tiefling girl watches them in her new ballet slippers might be more humiliation than Iorveth is willing to handle.

So. ] Mm. [ A hum of consideration, and he bypasses the Waterdhavian Uggs (they do look comfortable, though). He picks up a pair of slender black boots instead, made of soft, treated leather that doesn't squeak: almost like suede in its feel, if not in its texture. Decorative laces slither up the sides of the boots to accentuate the length of the leg, and it extends up to just below the supposed bend of an elf-shaped individual's knee.

Again: sue him. Astarion has really nice legs. Iorveth clears his throat, and before he can say anything, Thentavva interjects:

"Seven gold pieces for that one." ]

[ He would not break up with Iorveth for trying to put Waterdhavian Uggs on him, which says something. A lot of somethings. Astarion is in far too deep if he'd ever even consider putting something so hideous on just to make Iorveth happy.

Luckily, he doesn't have to, so his dignity (or what's left of it, anyway) can remain for another day. Astarion reaches out to take the boots in his hands, fingers ghosting over the soft texture of the leather. He does love soft, luxurious things. They're everything he was never allowed to have.

At the mention of the price, Astarion frowns. ]

You know, in Cormyr, this style has already gone out of fashion. Honestly, I'd be doing you a favor to take them off your hands now. What do you say about four gold pieces, hmm?

[ Right. Iorveth keeps forgetting that they're supposed to be playing at Cormyrean semi-nobility: a label that Astarion wears much more convincingly than Iorveth. He gravitates over to Astarion's side, keeping close while he gauges the shoemaker's placid scrutiny.

"What would Cormyreans know about Waterdhavian craftsmanship?", the man replies, disarmingly calmly. "What matters is the make of the item, not the look of it."

Ah. One of those. Iorveth isn't inclined to disagree with Thentavva the Third on this point, and understands how it is that this business has lasted as long as it has. Folding his hands across his chest, Iorveth tips his head and hikes his chin, imperious as ever. ]

Why sell yourself short, beloved? Seven gold pieces is too inexpensive for you.

[ He reaches into his pocket, and tosses the shoemaker a leather purse. One that he pilfered from a Zhent the night prior, full of gold.

(They may or may not be counterfeit. Iorveth hasn't bothered to check.) ]

[ Astarion has an awful lot to say about that. Primarily that the look of the item is obviously important, but he supposes someone wearing those spectacles wouldn't think so— and also, he thinks to ask, is the make of those thigh-high boots more important than their look as well? But then Iorveth steps in, and Astarion's lips curl into a smirk. Oh, how romantic. ]

I suppose you're right. There is something charming about wearing last season's designs.

[ He really can't help but be intolerably petty.

Thentavva opens the purse and looks inside. He raises an eyebrow, then picks up a sovereign, holding it between his thumb and forefinger as he inspects it. Astarion's smirk falters a little. That's not good. ]

—Well, we really should get going if we're going to make it to the theater for our show...

[ The tactic wasn't strategic, but Iorveth sure did bank on it (literally) working. As Thentavva tests the gold to see if it's legitimate, Iorveth turns on his heels with all the unwarranted confidence of someone who is going to get the fuck out of here with the boots on his feet and in Astarion's hands.

"Wait," Thentavva starts to say, to which Iorveth responds: ] Come, let's go.

[ More underhanded tactics on Iorveth's part－ he picks up the tiefling girl in her sweet little slippers and puts her squarely in the shoemaker's potential warpath, then puts what looks like her brother (another small boy with horns) beside her, making a child-shaped wall. Clearly, this is a man who has experience doing some truly heinous shit to survive.

With that done, he tugs Astarion briskly in the direction of the exit. ]

Edited 2025-04-03 04:19 (UTC)

[ If Thentavva says anything else, Astarion can't hear it over the crowd. If he tries to follow, he can't; not only is there a child-shaped wall between him and the two pesky elves who've just cheated him, but they bob and weave through the crowd so quickly that it's impossible to follow them.

Ah, well. What are eleven gold pieces to a man like him? He'll live.

As they make it out onto the street again, Astarion tugs Iorveth into the darkness of an alley just in case, laughing. Playfully, he scolds, ] Now I'm never going to be able to buy those custom boots.

[ You know, the thigh-high ones!! ]

[ Juggling Astarion's new boots and Gale's own sandals, Iorveth swerves into the alley, sways, leans－

－and laughs, forehead pressed against Astarion's shoulder, shoulders hunched and shaking in time to his hiked breathing. Genuinely amused by how often Astarion can incite him into－ to use familiar terms－ "acting a fool". ]

There are other shoemakers, [ he finally manages, still chuckling. ] And I have my imagination.

[ Dark leather on pale skin. That image will live rent-free in Iorveth's head for a while, harmlessly beguiling in inopportune moments. What a luxury, to have enough space in his brain for things other than anger or hate. ]

[ Iorveth's laugh is the most wonderful sound ever. He wants to bottle it, keep it for a day when he's feeling glum. There's no possible way he could be upset while listening to the lovely noise of Iorveth's joy. He wraps his arms around Iorveth's shoulders, squeezing tight for a moment, overcome with affection. ]

You naughty, naughty boy.

[ As if Astarion cares. He much prefers the idea of Iorveth's mindspace being taken up with thoughts of him as opposed to memories of genocide and suffering. After a good long crushing embrace, he relinquishes his hold on Iorveth. ]

I'm sure other boutiques may still be open. Or, of course, we could hunt down some tattoo ink.

[ Being held in Astarion's STR 8 embrace is more comfortable than painful; Iorveth marinates in it even after the arms relent, and presses a quick kiss to the jut of Astarion's jaw to reciprocate affection. Easy by now, almost instinctual. ]

I've a few other purchases in mind before we buy ink, [ he admits, though he doesn't want to specify yet. Despite his love language having been primarily focused around killing people for Astarion's benefit, he's a wood elf at heart: giving feels meaningful, ephemeral as material items may be. ]

If you want me to surprise you, we could separate and reconvene.

[ If Astarion is amenable. If not, Iorveth doesn't have to be a drama king, and he'll enjoy sticking to Astarion's side like a scrunkly fox that'll hiss at anyone who comes too close. ]

[ Astarion cocks his head for a moment, surprised by the idea that Iorveth has anything at all planned. He shouldn't be, of course. Iorveth seems to be a pathological planner. On the one hand, it's charming, and probably the only reason they're both still alive and walking around. On the other hand, Astarion does wonder if the cogs in his mind ever stop whirring. ]

Mm. Admittedly, I've not been one for surprises in the past.

[ Mostly because they were usually bad. He thinks for a moment, then: ]

But if you're at the helm, I can't imagine being anything less than thrilled.

[ And, besides, surprises are romantic. Or so he's heard. ]

All right. I can entertain myself until you return. [ Whether or not he can do so without getting himself into trouble is another story, but Iorveth's the one who's trusting him unsupervised. ] Where shall we rendezvous?

[ Surely Astarion can survive an hour or two without burning Waterdeep to the ground... surely. Many would say (rightfully) that Iorveth, a chronic and paranoid planner, has blinders on when it comes to Astarion and Astarion only; in that sense, the cogs in Iorveth's mind do stop whirring, relatively, when he's around Astarion.

Case in point. Brain activities boil down to "make favorite person happy", which is stupidly simple by Iorveth's exacting standards. ]

The Yawning Portal. If you still remember where it is.

[ It seems enough of a landmark location to be easy to find, even if Astarion doesn't remember. Someone is bound to know where it is, if one asks. Shifting the new footwear (and old sandals) into his pack, the long boots sticking awkwardly out from the top of it, Iorveth delegates himself to holding Astarion's things again. ]

Buy yourself a drink or two, if you get there before I do.

Purchase a drink for myself? Perish the thought.

[ After all, it's so easy to scam others into paying for it. But perhaps he should be on his best behavior if he doesn't want to end up run out before Iorveth can return. Look at him, thinking ahead! Gods, his brain feels as big as Gale's.

(Somewhere, back in the tower, Gale is reading a book by candlelight, Tara in his lap. An unexplained shiver goes up his spine.)

He steps forward, pressing a kiss to Iorveth's mouth. Casual affection, light and chaste, close for the sake of it. Such innocent gestures still give him butterflies, although he'd die a second time before admitting as much. ]

Don't take too long, or I might get bored, and... well, who knows what I'll do then?

[ One last lingering look at Iorveth, a sight that will have to sate him for the next few hours, and he's off. He remembers where the Yawning Portal is, of course. Waterdeep might be new to him, but navigating the city streets isn't. ]

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