[ Most people have existential crises about eternal life and what it means to outlive everything until the end of eternity, but clearly, Astarion is not Most People. Iorveth would be more concerned about Astarion's short-sightedness if not for the simple fact that he's become complicit in encouraging aspects of it.
He has no idea who the hells Conway is, though. (Rude.) Oh well. Probably no one important. (Double rude.) ]
Yes, yes. [ A verbal eyeroll, affectionate. ] Not a hideous zombie, but the most beautiful vampire in Toril's history.
[ This would have sounded far more snide and sarcastic before; unfortunately for Iorveth, he actually believes this to be true now, so the jab doesn't quite land. More importantly, and on a bit more of a somber note, Iorveth hums under his breath and appends: ]
If my quest for eternal life goes awry, [ translation: 'If I become a hideous zombie', ] I expect you to kill me.
[ Astarion settles close, pulling the covers over their lower halves, head nestled in the crook of Iorveth's shoulder. He simply couldn't be happier; an orgasm, a fiancé, and the promise of Iorveth's quest for eternal life—
Wait, what did Iorveth just say about his quest for eternal life?
Astarion pulls back to get a good look at his face, as if he thinks he might find Iorveth winking and laughing, because surely he's joking. No one would ever say such a ridiculous thing in all seriousness. He raises an eyebrow, wary. ]
I can't imagine how your quest for eternal life could ever go wrong.
[ It's eternal life. He doesn't care if Iorveth is a hideous zombie!! ]
So we really don't have to make any sort of contingency plan.
[ Iorveth's mentioned Astarion's expressive brows before, but he really is enamored by them. Even when they're hiked up in judgment. He smooths over it with a brow, evaluative. ]
I can imagine a few ways in which it can go wrong, foolish cat.
[ Not a single thought in that pretty head (affectionate). An indication of how much anxiety Astarion houses under that polished exterior, perhaps; an aversion to adding more to that expansive pile. ]
If I become a creature incapable of thought or reason, for one. Or if I become someone else entirely after gaining immortality.
[ Worst-case scenarios. He pets Astarion's hair again. ]
I don't wish to be anything but the Iorveth you know.
[ Astarion whines, shifting uncomfortably where he's lying. Why would Iorveth ruin his afterglow with such unpleasant thoughts? He doesn't like this at all. Not at all!! ]
Are you mad? [ he finally says, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. Unfortunately, he already knows the answer is probably 'yes', so he doesn't leave Iorveth time to respond to that. Iorveth is insane, and most of the time, Astarion adores that about him, but not when he's asking him to, what, put Iorveth out of his potential future misery like a rabid dog? ]
[ Iorveth is capable of ruining so many good things. But he also thinks that a disclaimer like this is necessary if they're going to finagle a way to make him immortal, which is a task that everyone would have managed if it were safe or easy. Chances are that the process will be hard and possibly very ruinous, so he should be prepared for the worst.
Like, say, turning into a hideous zombie. He sighs when Astarion whines and cards his fingers gently through soft curls again, fully expecting the continued affection to placate Astarion somewhat. ]
Why not?
[ Still petting, still cuddled close. ] I doubt you'd want to be saddled with an unthinking creature who resembles nothing of me.
[ To the tune of "Astarion, you gotta love yourself more than this." ]
[ The continued affection does placate him... somewhat. Astarion can't help but lean into Iorveth's touch, an insuppressible bodily reaction. The desire to be cuddled outweighs all rational thought, unfortunately. Still: ]
—Because, [ is another petulant whine. He can't believe, actually, that Iorveth is asking 'why not'. Would Iorveth kill him if he were an ugly zombie?
Better not to think about such impossibilities. He'll never be ugly. ]
I would... find a way to fix you. [ After dragging around his decaying corpse, just like Mayrina did to Conway— er, Connor. ] It's as if you've never heard of the healing power of true love.
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no subject
He has no idea who the hells Conway is, though. (Rude.) Oh well. Probably no one important. (Double rude.) ]
Yes, yes. [ A verbal eyeroll, affectionate. ] Not a hideous zombie, but the most beautiful vampire in Toril's history.
[ This would have sounded far more snide and sarcastic before; unfortunately for Iorveth, he actually believes this to be true now, so the jab doesn't quite land. More importantly, and on a bit more of a somber note, Iorveth hums under his breath and appends: ]
If my quest for eternal life goes awry, [ translation: 'If I become a hideous zombie', ] I expect you to kill me.
no subject
Wait, what did Iorveth just say about his quest for eternal life?
Astarion pulls back to get a good look at his face, as if he thinks he might find Iorveth winking and laughing, because surely he's joking. No one would ever say such a ridiculous thing in all seriousness. He raises an eyebrow, wary. ]
I can't imagine how your quest for eternal life could ever go wrong.
[ It's eternal life. He doesn't care if Iorveth is a hideous zombie!! ]
So we really don't have to make any sort of contingency plan.
no subject
I can imagine a few ways in which it can go wrong, foolish cat.
[ Not a single thought in that pretty head (affectionate). An indication of how much anxiety Astarion houses under that polished exterior, perhaps; an aversion to adding more to that expansive pile. ]
If I become a creature incapable of thought or reason, for one. Or if I become someone else entirely after gaining immortality.
[ Worst-case scenarios. He pets Astarion's hair again. ]
I don't wish to be anything but the Iorveth you know.
no subject
[ Astarion whines, shifting uncomfortably where he's lying. Why would Iorveth ruin his afterglow with such unpleasant thoughts? He doesn't like this at all. Not at all!! ]
Are you mad? [ he finally says, blowing a strand of hair out of his face. Unfortunately, he already knows the answer is probably 'yes', so he doesn't leave Iorveth time to respond to that. Iorveth is insane, and most of the time, Astarion adores that about him, but not when he's asking him to, what, put Iorveth out of his potential future misery like a rabid dog? ]
I'm not going to kill you.
no subject
Like, say, turning into a hideous zombie. He sighs when Astarion whines and cards his fingers gently through soft curls again, fully expecting the continued affection to placate Astarion somewhat. ]
Why not?
[ Still petting, still cuddled close. ] I doubt you'd want to be saddled with an unthinking creature who resembles nothing of me.
[ To the tune of "Astarion, you gotta love yourself more than this." ]
no subject
—Because, [ is another petulant whine. He can't believe, actually, that Iorveth is asking 'why not'. Would Iorveth kill him if he were an ugly zombie?
Better not to think about such impossibilities. He'll never be ugly. ]
I would... find a way to fix you. [ After dragging around his decaying corpse, just like Mayrina did to Conway— er, Connor. ] It's as if you've never heard of the healing power of true love.