[ No, he's right — Astarion is unbearable. Difficult, annoying, the type of person you'd have to be a deranged drunk elf to derive any comfort from the presence of. He crosses his ankles primly, staring back at Iorveth with raised eyebrows, his red eyes full of mischief and amusement. Unbearable indeed.
It is, of course, difficult to deprive himself of touching someone he loves now that he knows that being close to someone can actually feel good. Surely none of the depraved things he did for his marks even came close to making them feel as wonderful as the mere warmth of Iorveth's palm against his cheek. Still, he is unbearable, and it's easier to have willpower when it irritates someone else. He clasps his hands together on his lap. ]
Anywhere I wish?
[ The tsk, tsk he makes is an obvious indicator that Iorveth hasn't passed his imaginary test. ]
Darling, I'd hate to put my wandering hands anywhere that you didn't wish. Don't you worry, they'll stay right here.
[ The worst. It's been a while, but Iorveth idly fantasizes about defenestrating Astarion again－
－only to find, distressingly, that the fantasy brings him no joy anymore. Shock! Horror. Apparently, the angry fox living under Iorveth's skin only finds satisfaction in biting people who aren't Astarion-shaped.
So. Iorveth seethes. Not angrily, but impatiently. He stares at Astarion's pretty hands sitting prettily on his pretty lap, and tries to will it into movement by the sheer strength of his fuzzy focus; he rolls a Nat 1 on that silent persuasion check. It's agonizing.
Finally, once he recovers from that staggering moment of abject failure: ] Idiot. I'd be happy to have you fondle my prick in public if you wished it. [ A half-elf on his way to paying for his drinks does a double-take as he passes by the pair's table; Iorveth barely notices. ] Give me your hands. Anywhere.
[ Hyacinth looks pleased as punch as she gives the half-elf his change. "Aren't they lovely?", she notes, to which the man just mumbles a non-committal "uh". ]
[ Astarion smiles, looking every bit as pleased as Hyacinth. He scoots their chairs closer once more, hand snaking up under the hem of Iorveth's silky-smooth shirt and splaying out over the warm skin of his back. He leans his temple against Iorveth's shoulder, close enough to him that he can inhale the scent of Iorveth's skin. Warm, woody, comforting. He'd bottle it if he could. ]
If that's what you want, I couldn't bear to deny you.
[ Well, maybe a little. Fondling Iorveth's prick would only make him want to remove some clothes, and he'd rather not get undressed in front of the whole tavern. ]
I only thought you didn't want to act like a 'love-drunk fool'.
[ A sigh. He's as hungry for Iorveth's affection as he is for blood, and he won't be able to have either in public if that's the case. Vexing. ]
[ The touch is familiar: cool against his warm skin, confident when it finds a perch. Like nothing and no one else. Iorveth has never taken himself for the melting type, but he finds himself molding to the shape of the body near and next to him, resting his weight on the palm between his shoulderblades with a low, long exhale. His hand loops around Astarion's waist again, and sits at his hip. ]
The fool part, specifically. [ Too proud to be constantly messy. That said: ] Acting in love with you is－
[ He waves his free hand. ]
－Mm. It's no act. [ The most vexing part of this whole affair. ] Here or in the north, that isn't liable to change.
[ A huff, amused. ] Do you think I'd wish to hide it?
[ 'Downplay', maybe, in the name of reputation and propriety. He'd be lying if he weren't worried about Iorveth seeing him in a different light once he's back to his real life. Iorveth's love doesn't seem fickle, but he can't help but prepare himself for the worst regardless. ]
...But if you did want to hide it, I—
[ He pauses. It comes naturally to make himself small, to mold himself into whatever shape he needs to take in order to not be left behind. I wouldn't mind, he's set to say, but the words feel bitter on his tongue.
Sounding a bit surprised, he says, ] Actually, I think I deserve better than that.
[ A blink, a once-over. Iorveth angles his chin to get a better vantage point from where he can gauge Astarion's expression, and once he digests the weight of that added declaration－
－he smiles. Almost laughs, before he stops himself, though Astarion should be able to feel how it ripples through him before it dies in the back of Iorveth's throat, vibrating in little waves.
Gods. There's literally nothing sexier in the world than someone with self-respect. ]
You'd be entitled to put a knife through my skull if I ever disrespected you.
[ Ugh, Iorveth is so dramatic. Unfortunately, Astarion finds it very endearing. It's dangerous to build up his confidence like this, to make him believe that he deserves better than what he's been given, but he can't find it in himself to make Iorveth stop. The better Iorveth makes him feel about himself, the worse it'll be if—when, really, because Iorveth is no vampire—this ends, but as time goes by, he feels less and less like he's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like maybe it's more worth enjoying what he has while he has it, rather than grieving it before he's even lost it.
He laughs, scratching Iorveth's back not unlike the kneading of an affectionate cat. ]
If I'm going to be using a knife on you, I'd rather it be in a more enticing way.
[ Using a knife on someone should never rightfully be enticing, but, well. They're just two freaks. ]
[ Oh, threaten him with a good time. Inhibitions shot, Iorveth feels nails raking gently against his skin and idly contemplates knifeplay like the unhinged elf that he is. ]
That would be more of what you deserve. [ Edging closer, pressing his lips to the pretty pointed shape of Astarion's ear. Being an elf is superior to humans in this one way, at least: more cartilage for Iorveth to nibble. ] If you get tired of using your teeth when you get peckish.
[ A little frisson of pleasure, just thinking about it. Do Not Romanticize Vampirism, the world warns, and yet. Iorveth sighs, skin warming a little more as he remembers the pleasantly painful-hazy sensation of being bitten. ]
...I'd allow it. [ Iorveth the control freak, only relinquishing it for the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world. ] I'd enjoy it, even.
[ Very interesting. He loves Iorveth more than anyone in this wretched world and can't bear to think of him hurt, but the idea of Iorveth—who'd once said he'd slash Astarion's throat before letting even his teeth near that lovely neck—allowing him to hold a blade against his skin is more exciting than it has any right to be. Unintentionally, he digs his blunted nails into Iorveth's back a little harder; he realizes after a moment and smooths his chilly palm over the spot. ]
Ugh, don't make me want you here, [ he echoes, playful. ] I'm not in the habit of denying myself life's pleasures, and I don't want to start now.
[ He can have a freaky terrorist boyfriend, as a treat. ]
[ What Iorveth keeps to himself: for all of Astarion's posturing about being a pleasure-seeker, Iorveth is convinced that Astarion is the lesser freak between the two of them. It's only natural given what Astarion has been through, with forcefully-flipped standards dictating that affection is the aberrant behavior instead of the norm; while Iorveth has stopped wondering if Astarion doesn't actually secretly hate intimacy, he still doesn't know if he wouldn't just prefer cuddling to anything more explicit.
Regardless, he hums happily at the pleasant pain-prick of nails in his skin. ]
That only depends on what pleasures you're looking to sate now.
[ Pouring himself one more glass until the bottle runs out, and flicking his gaze up at an expectant Hyacinth who's been watching them with her elbows on a counter and her chin in her hands. A gnome woman, in turn, has been looking at her and her lovely, lovely cleavage from a few tables away. ]
Either you conspire with the barkeep and get me so drunk that I start invoking Sune, [ a low laugh, openly amused. He looks a little younger when his exuberance is honest, the sharp lines of his face smoothing to make way for the warmth he keeps hidden under tight-fisted control. ] Or we find a bathhouse to ruin.
[ Iorveth is very handsome when he laughs. A rare occurrence, but becoming less so. Astarion wishes he could trap those laughs in a jar to enjoy forever, but alas, Iorveth's jubilation is fleeting. He sneaks his hand out from under Iorveth's shirt to run a thumb across the softened lines of his face, laughing himself. ]
I'd sooner wear beige than watch you invoke any god.
[ Even Sune, whose portfolio of love and beauty is more tolerable than that of, say, Lathander. Hope, light, destruction of the undead. Gross. ]
But I'm sure I can find plenty of ways to desecrate a bathhouse.
[ Hyacinth slinks over when she hears mention of Sune and seats her pretty self across the table from the pair, eyes shining. Iorveth finds something slightly unnerving about her exuberance, like she might be perceiving the both of them as fitting tributes to offer to her goddess.
Might be the drinks talking, though. Iorveth curls around Astarion, keeping his eyes up and away from the woman's open-necked collar.
"If you're looking for a place to soak," the barkeep says, not even bothering to hide the fact that she's been eavesdropping, "there's a bathhouse right next to this tavern."
Convenient, but not unsurprising. It figures that a devotee of Sune would want to situate herself near an establishment that promotes cleanliness and self-grooming. Iorveth squints a bit regardless, wondering if the goddess of beauty encourages human sacrifices. ]
[ For all that Astarion groused about Iorveth's wandering eye, he doesn't even attempt not to get an eyeful of Hyacinth's ample cleavage as his gaze wanders up her body. Rules for thee, not for me. He interlaces his fingers atop the table, staring at her with a quirked brow. ]
Aren't you a little snoop?
[ His tone is a little irritated, perhaps even a bit paranoid. Did she overhear anything that might suggest he's a vampire with an illithid parasite in his head? He hopes not. If there's any luck left for either of them, she only thinks he's unreasonably horny and nothing else.
Still, the suggestion is convenient. Timely. He'd certainly prefer not to walk the streets looking for a bathhouse when he'd rather see Iorveth naked now. He clears his throat, bumping Iorveth with his shoulder. ]
[ Hmm. Iorveth peels himself off of Astarion to fold his arms across his chest, assuming the defensive stance of a man who may or may not be questioning the wisdom of accepting convenient hospitality; it doesn't rattle Hyacinth, however, who only smiles and extends one perfect hand to accept Iorveth's coin (his wallet is now their shared wallet), using that same perfect hand to flick Iorveth under his chin again the way she'd done when they first came in.
"I promise you'll love the place, darlings. My sister runs it."
Hmm.
Iorveth tries to get up, sways (oof, gravity), and re-aligns himself with wood elf balance. ]
She'll be even less dressed than you are, I expect. [ A light jab, to which the woman responds with a twinkling laugh. "Oh, so you have been looking."
He wrinkles his nose. ] Come, [ he says, tugging on Astarion's arm. The place won't be difficult to find (it's literally next door, a similarly-decorated establishment with its front entrance covered in flowers), and he's eager to stop being heckled by this woman who seems more calm than she has any right being. ]
Lovely establishment, [ Astarion says as Iorveth drags him away. He's been in plenty of taverns, and this one makes the top five — although it admittedly may be more due to his company than the actual service. Still, he does hope to come back, so he offers Hyacinth a little wave as they leave.
"Enjoy yourselves!" she calls back, counting her money.
Out in the brisk evening air, it only takes a few steps to make it to the bathhouse. A complement to The Silken Sash, the sign out front boasts the name The Silken Soak. Ha. The smell of sweet bath oils emanates from the entrance, a door carved with winding floral patterns and flanked by stained glass windows portraying a beautiful man and woman bathing. ]
I don't know about you, but I'm willing to take the chance that they sacrifice us to their god.
Well, [ Iorveth drawls, flicking away a stray flower tickling his face on the way inside, ] of all the places to die, this one is fairly inoffensive.
[ Understatement. The Silken Soak glows, dimly lit by amber-tinted lanterns decorated with gold sashes; fabric drips from the ceiling and floors like honey, swaying hypnotically to the slow rhythm of a phantom breeze. The receptionist looks up from where she's seated behind a redwood desk, another beauty with raven-dark hair and a smile that spreads evenly across her lovely face.
"Welcome," she beckons as she stands up. Her uniform－ a dress styled to look like an elegant bathrobe－ drapes over the entirety of her shapely form, but skews dangerously on the translucent side. "You two are in luck－ there's barely anyone else here tonight. Everyone's off at some auction, I've heard."
Iorveth tries his best not to snort. ] You don't say.
[ Elegant decor, enticing aromas, scantily-clad women. It's the sort of place Astarion would only have dreamed of going, back when he was just a lowly spawn curled up in some dark, dank corner of Cazador's palace. He drinks it all in like blood, basking in the creature comforts. After so long going without, he'll never tire of nice things.
He breezes right past mention of the auction, careful not to place them at the scene of the crime. Instead, he points at the woman, mouth quirked up in amusement. ]
Let me guess. Chrysanthemum?
[ She giggles fetchingly. "Jessamine, actually." ]
Jessamine! A lovely name for a lovely flower such as yourself, [ he says, laying the flattery on thick. After all, they—well, Iorveth—just paid Hyacinth a rather hefty sum for all of that wine. He wouldn't mind a discount in his future. ]
[ Jessamine is lovely, and though she wears the evidence of her self-awareness in the form of a dress that leaves little to the imagination, she beams at Astarion's compliment regardless. Good for her. Her journey from behind the desk to in front of Astarion is less a walk than a slide, a cascade of long limbs and soft silks accompanied by the scent of fresh flowers.
Iorveth watches, and manages to avoid acting like an overprotective lover who raises his hackles whenever someone dares to exist in his beloved's vicinity. Instead of snapping at Jessamine like an untrained hound, he turns towards a rack of bath oils on display and focuses on tracing the labels with a careful index; he feels her attention flit towards him for a fraction of a second before it returns to Astarion, settling gently like sediment at the bottom of a still lake.
"Aren't you the sweetest thing," is a birdlike titter, as she attempts to tug Astarion's sleeve. "Flattery will get you everywhere. Especially with me."
Again, Iorveth tries not to sour. Obviously, the hot woman is going to flirt with the hot man who came to this establishment to get naked. He picks up a bottle of sandalwood oil, and tries not to snort under his breath. ]
[ He grins widely, and Jessamine doesn't even attempt modesty. Why should she? She knows she's beautiful. He can relate, and he doesn't even have a reflection. The two of them simper at each other for a moment while Iorveth inspects the bath oils, Jessamine flipping her hair in an affectedly nonchalant way that he instantly clocks. Like recognizes like. She, too, is accustomed to using her looks to her benefit.
"Dangerous?" she coos, pretending she doesn't know her own power. "I'm just a girl, not an owlbear." ]
Well, of course not. You're far more charming than an owlbear.
[ Jessamine preens a little, and it's the closest thing to looking in a mirror he's done in a long time. ]
Well, as much as I'd love spending all day making your lovely acquaintance, I suppose we should get down to business. My companion and I were hoping for a private and, ah, affordable experience.
[ "Affordable" earns Astarion a coy curl of Jessamine's perfect lips; nothing in this establishment was built on the back of "affordable". But― as shrewd as she's harmlessly vain― she taps a finger against her chin, considering, making a show of it.
"Well, there are some rooms for private use that I'm willing to let you use for less coin than usual. Just because you're so darling." A pause, followed by a sly little lilt. "Sadly, the Lover's Suite is less, ah, affordable, as you'd put it... Pity, since it's so lovely."
Ugh. An obvious sales tactic. Especially since Jessamine has taken it upon herself to tacitly address Iorveth with the last addendum, glancing back towards him as if she knows (correctly) that he's the one with the wallet. Beautiful people often come with utterly whipped patrons, after all.
Silence stretches for an awkward second, before Iorveth breaks it with a sigh. ]
The Lover's Suite, then. [ He gestures with one hand, blithe and dismissive. ] It's what he deserves.
[ Playing right into Jessamine's lovely hands. She claps, radiating triumph. ]
[ Astarion takes a little offense to the correct assumption that Iorveth is the one paying for everything; he might have brought a coin purse along if it didn't ruin his silhouette! Then again, that doesn't mean he would have ever actually paid for anything. If you love someone, their money is your money. What's Iorveth's is his! ]
Big spender, [ he says wryly. Honestly, it's Iorveth's fault if he wants to drop the contents of his wallet on the Lover's Suite. Astarion tried to haggle.
"Worth every coin," Jessamine assures them with a wink. "Emblematic of everything our Sune stands for— are you fellow Sunites?"
[ Having disposable income is crazy. Maybe Iorveth should be saving it for the many rainy days to come, but their auction theft is still fresh and he still has gold to burn; he can spoil Astarion as a treat, despite Astarion's efforts to preserve the contents of their now-shared wallet.
The price of being besotted. At least Jessamine seems pleased, despite the fact that the two weird elves in front of her are not, in fact, Sunites. She beckons them to follow her down a prettily-decorated hall (more drapery, more flowers) to the biggest room in the back, the door flanked on both sides by mostly-nude statues of Sune in various seductive poses.
"It's never too late to follow our Goddess' doctrines," Jessamine chirps as she lets the two into the suite. "She'd look so favorably on beautiful lovers like yourselves."
Iorveth steps inside, and finds―
―a room similar to the Nymph's Grotto at Sharess' Caress. Verdant greenery and perfumed flowers trail over warm-colored furniture that sit on soft rugs; bathrobes in different sizes and textures hanging on racks line one wall, and shelves full of salts and oils trail towards a large marble pool filled with steaming water. Long recliners sit near low tables and magically-lit braziers suffusing the entire room with amber light― everything is inviting, comfortable, luxurious.
Iorveth blinks, feeling like the sharpest thing in the room. ]
...Well? [ Nudging Astarion's shoulder with his own. ] Is it to your liking?
[ The opulence of it all is overwhelming. Wonderful, yes, but overwhelming. He'd become accustomed to the dark, chilly quarters of the last two centuries, and even after his escape, he'd had to sleep outside in the dirt or in a tent he barely knew how to pitch. The Elfsong was more luxury than he'd seen in centuries, but this is far beyond a shared room in a mid-grade tavern. Two voices battle it out inside his head: you don't deserve this, says the cruel one, but another pipes up to say oh, yes, you do. ]
It'll do, [ he says with a shrug, gravitating toward the hanging bathrobes and stroking their soft fabrics. One smooth and silky, another warm and fuzzy.
Once Jessamine has taken her leave, he turns back to Iorveth. ]
You know, I feel as if I've just hired a very expensive courtesan.
[ Well, he feels a little bit like the courtesan, in truth, but old habits die hard.
Teasing, he adds, ] 'The Wicked Wood Elf', perhaps.
[ The amount of coin Jessamine demands before she leaves is disgusting, but Iorveth pays her without second thought: one, because being drunk is great for making off-the-cuff decisions, and two, because he finds that he likes seeing Astarion framed in finery. Again, the price of being stupidly besotted. ]
An unhappy surprise for any patron that purchases him. [ Is his half-huffed reply to the suggestion that he could ever be a courtesan, looking and acting the way he does. Still, he plays along, approaching Astarion with a flourish of his hand. ]
I suppose milord would like to see how "wicked" his hired wood elf can be.
[ The answer is, in fact, Not Very. Iorveth, tipsy and affectionate, takes it upon himself to pull Astarion into a light hug instead of doing anything remotely sexy. ]
[ Astarion makes a noise of protest, scoffing and rolling his eyes and acting not unlike a child being assaulted with kisses from his grandmother — like this is all very embarrassing and ruining his image.
Still, he curls his fingers in the fabric of Iorveth's shirt so that he can't go anywhere, entirely contradictory to the idea that he doesn't like it. Being embraced still feels strange, and yes, a little embarrassing, but it feels good, too, albeit in a way he feels compelled to keep private. Like some dark, twisted fantasy that he's a complete degenerate for enjoying. ]
This isn't wicked at all, [ he chides. ] Honestly, I told you that you're going soft.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It is, of course, difficult to deprive himself of touching someone he loves now that he knows that being close to someone can actually feel good. Surely none of the depraved things he did for his marks even came close to making them feel as wonderful as the mere warmth of Iorveth's palm against his cheek. Still, he is unbearable, and it's easier to have willpower when it irritates someone else. He clasps his hands together on his lap. ]
Anywhere I wish?
[ The tsk, tsk he makes is an obvious indicator that Iorveth hasn't passed his imaginary test. ]
Darling, I'd hate to put my wandering hands anywhere that you didn't wish. Don't you worry, they'll stay right here.
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－only to find, distressingly, that the fantasy brings him no joy anymore. Shock! Horror. Apparently, the angry fox living under Iorveth's skin only finds satisfaction in biting people who aren't Astarion-shaped.
So. Iorveth seethes. Not angrily, but impatiently. He stares at Astarion's pretty hands sitting prettily on his pretty lap, and tries to will it into movement by the sheer strength of his fuzzy focus; he rolls a Nat 1 on that silent persuasion check. It's agonizing.
Finally, once he recovers from that staggering moment of abject failure: ] Idiot. I'd be happy to have you fondle my prick in public if you wished it. [ A half-elf on his way to paying for his drinks does a double-take as he passes by the pair's table; Iorveth barely notices. ] Give me your hands. Anywhere.
[ Hyacinth looks pleased as punch as she gives the half-elf his change. "Aren't they lovely?", she notes, to which the man just mumbles a non-committal "uh". ]
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If that's what you want, I couldn't bear to deny you.
[ Well, maybe a little. Fondling Iorveth's prick would only make him want to remove some clothes, and he'd rather not get undressed in front of the whole tavern. ]
I only thought you didn't want to act like a 'love-drunk fool'.
[ A sigh. He's as hungry for Iorveth's affection as he is for blood, and he won't be able to have either in public if that's the case. Vexing. ]
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The fool part, specifically. [ Too proud to be constantly messy. That said: ] Acting in love with you is－
[ He waves his free hand. ]
－Mm. It's no act. [ The most vexing part of this whole affair. ] Here or in the north, that isn't liable to change.
[ A huff, amused. ] Do you think I'd wish to hide it?
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[ 'Downplay', maybe, in the name of reputation and propriety. He'd be lying if he weren't worried about Iorveth seeing him in a different light once he's back to his real life. Iorveth's love doesn't seem fickle, but he can't help but prepare himself for the worst regardless. ]
...But if you did want to hide it, I—
[ He pauses. It comes naturally to make himself small, to mold himself into whatever shape he needs to take in order to not be left behind. I wouldn't mind, he's set to say, but the words feel bitter on his tongue.
Sounding a bit surprised, he says, ] Actually, I think I deserve better than that.
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－he smiles. Almost laughs, before he stops himself, though Astarion should be able to feel how it ripples through him before it dies in the back of Iorveth's throat, vibrating in little waves.
Gods. There's literally nothing sexier in the world than someone with self-respect. ]
You'd be entitled to put a knife through my skull if I ever disrespected you.
[ Sincerely meant. ]
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He laughs, scratching Iorveth's back not unlike the kneading of an affectionate cat. ]
If I'm going to be using a knife on you, I'd rather it be in a more enticing way.
[ Using a knife on someone should never rightfully be enticing, but, well. They're just two freaks. ]
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That would be more of what you deserve. [ Edging closer, pressing his lips to the pretty pointed shape of Astarion's ear. Being an elf is superior to humans in this one way, at least: more cartilage for Iorveth to nibble. ] If you get tired of using your teeth when you get peckish.
[ A little frisson of pleasure, just thinking about it. Do Not Romanticize Vampirism, the world warns, and yet. Iorveth sighs, skin warming a little more as he remembers the pleasantly painful-hazy sensation of being bitten. ]
...I'd allow it. [ Iorveth the control freak, only relinquishing it for the one person he trusts more than anyone else in the world. ] I'd enjoy it, even.
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Ugh, don't make me want you here, [ he echoes, playful. ] I'm not in the habit of denying myself life's pleasures, and I don't want to start now.
[ He can have a freaky terrorist boyfriend, as a treat. ]
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Regardless, he hums happily at the pleasant pain-prick of nails in his skin. ]
That only depends on what pleasures you're looking to sate now.
[ Pouring himself one more glass until the bottle runs out, and flicking his gaze up at an expectant Hyacinth who's been watching them with her elbows on a counter and her chin in her hands. A gnome woman, in turn, has been looking at her and her lovely, lovely cleavage from a few tables away. ]
Either you conspire with the barkeep and get me so drunk that I start invoking Sune, [ a low laugh, openly amused. He looks a little younger when his exuberance is honest, the sharp lines of his face smoothing to make way for the warmth he keeps hidden under tight-fisted control. ] Or we find a bathhouse to ruin.
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I'd sooner wear beige than watch you invoke any god.
[ Even Sune, whose portfolio of love and beauty is more tolerable than that of, say, Lathander. Hope, light, destruction of the undead. Gross. ]
But I'm sure I can find plenty of ways to desecrate a bathhouse.
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Might be the drinks talking, though. Iorveth curls around Astarion, keeping his eyes up and away from the woman's open-necked collar.
"If you're looking for a place to soak," the barkeep says, not even bothering to hide the fact that she's been eavesdropping, "there's a bathhouse right next to this tavern."
Convenient, but not unsurprising. It figures that a devotee of Sune would want to situate herself near an establishment that promotes cleanliness and self-grooming. Iorveth squints a bit regardless, wondering if the goddess of beauty encourages human sacrifices. ]
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Aren't you a little snoop?
[ His tone is a little irritated, perhaps even a bit paranoid. Did she overhear anything that might suggest he's a vampire with an illithid parasite in his head? He hopes not. If there's any luck left for either of them, she only thinks he's unreasonably horny and nothing else.
Still, the suggestion is convenient. Timely. He'd certainly prefer not to walk the streets looking for a bathhouse when he'd rather see Iorveth naked now. He clears his throat, bumping Iorveth with his shoulder. ]
Pay the woman, darling.
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"I promise you'll love the place, darlings. My sister runs it."
Hmm.
Iorveth tries to get up, sways (oof, gravity), and re-aligns himself with wood elf balance. ]
She'll be even less dressed than you are, I expect. [ A light jab, to which the woman responds with a twinkling laugh. "Oh, so you have been looking."
He wrinkles his nose. ] Come, [ he says, tugging on Astarion's arm. The place won't be difficult to find (it's literally next door, a similarly-decorated establishment with its front entrance covered in flowers), and he's eager to stop being heckled by this woman who seems more calm than she has any right being. ]
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"Enjoy yourselves!" she calls back, counting her money.
Out in the brisk evening air, it only takes a few steps to make it to the bathhouse. A complement to The Silken Sash, the sign out front boasts the name The Silken Soak. Ha. The smell of sweet bath oils emanates from the entrance, a door carved with winding floral patterns and flanked by stained glass windows portraying a beautiful man and woman bathing. ]
I don't know about you, but I'm willing to take the chance that they sacrifice us to their god.
[ After all, it's so pretty and smells so good. ]
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[ Understatement. The Silken Soak glows, dimly lit by amber-tinted lanterns decorated with gold sashes; fabric drips from the ceiling and floors like honey, swaying hypnotically to the slow rhythm of a phantom breeze. The receptionist looks up from where she's seated behind a redwood desk, another beauty with raven-dark hair and a smile that spreads evenly across her lovely face.
"Welcome," she beckons as she stands up. Her uniform－ a dress styled to look like an elegant bathrobe－ drapes over the entirety of her shapely form, but skews dangerously on the translucent side. "You two are in luck－ there's barely anyone else here tonight. Everyone's off at some auction, I've heard."
Iorveth tries his best not to snort. ] You don't say.
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He breezes right past mention of the auction, careful not to place them at the scene of the crime. Instead, he points at the woman, mouth quirked up in amusement. ]
Let me guess. Chrysanthemum?
[ She giggles fetchingly. "Jessamine, actually." ]
Jessamine! A lovely name for a lovely flower such as yourself, [ he says, laying the flattery on thick. After all, they—well, Iorveth—just paid Hyacinth a rather hefty sum for all of that wine. He wouldn't mind a discount in his future. ]
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Iorveth watches, and manages to avoid acting like an overprotective lover who raises his hackles whenever someone dares to exist in his beloved's vicinity. Instead of snapping at Jessamine like an untrained hound, he turns towards a rack of bath oils on display and focuses on tracing the labels with a careful index; he feels her attention flit towards him for a fraction of a second before it returns to Astarion, settling gently like sediment at the bottom of a still lake.
"Aren't you the sweetest thing," is a birdlike titter, as she attempts to tug Astarion's sleeve. "Flattery will get you everywhere. Especially with me."
Again, Iorveth tries not to sour. Obviously, the hot woman is going to flirt with the hot man who came to this establishment to get naked. He picks up a bottle of sandalwood oil, and tries not to snort under his breath. ]
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[ He grins widely, and Jessamine doesn't even attempt modesty. Why should she? She knows she's beautiful. He can relate, and he doesn't even have a reflection. The two of them simper at each other for a moment while Iorveth inspects the bath oils, Jessamine flipping her hair in an affectedly nonchalant way that he instantly clocks. Like recognizes like. She, too, is accustomed to using her looks to her benefit.
"Dangerous?" she coos, pretending she doesn't know her own power. "I'm just a girl, not an owlbear." ]
Well, of course not. You're far more charming than an owlbear.
[ Jessamine preens a little, and it's the closest thing to looking in a mirror he's done in a long time. ]
Well, as much as I'd love spending all day making your lovely acquaintance, I suppose we should get down to business. My companion and I were hoping for a private and, ah, affordable experience.
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"Well, there are some rooms for private use that I'm willing to let you use for less coin than usual. Just because you're so darling." A pause, followed by a sly little lilt. "Sadly, the Lover's Suite is less, ah, affordable, as you'd put it... Pity, since it's so lovely."
Ugh. An obvious sales tactic. Especially since Jessamine has taken it upon herself to tacitly address Iorveth with the last addendum, glancing back towards him as if she knows (correctly) that he's the one with the wallet. Beautiful people often come with utterly whipped patrons, after all.
Silence stretches for an awkward second, before Iorveth breaks it with a sigh. ]
The Lover's Suite, then. [ He gestures with one hand, blithe and dismissive. ] It's what he deserves.
[ Playing right into Jessamine's lovely hands. She claps, radiating triumph. ]
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Big spender, [ he says wryly. Honestly, it's Iorveth's fault if he wants to drop the contents of his wallet on the Lover's Suite. Astarion tried to haggle.
"Worth every coin," Jessamine assures them with a wink. "Emblematic of everything our Sune stands for— are you fellow Sunites?"
Astarion snorts unattractively. ] Oh, gods, no.
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The price of being besotted. At least Jessamine seems pleased, despite the fact that the two weird elves in front of her are not, in fact, Sunites. She beckons them to follow her down a prettily-decorated hall (more drapery, more flowers) to the biggest room in the back, the door flanked on both sides by mostly-nude statues of Sune in various seductive poses.
"It's never too late to follow our Goddess' doctrines," Jessamine chirps as she lets the two into the suite. "She'd look so favorably on beautiful lovers like yourselves."
Iorveth steps inside, and finds―
―a room similar to the Nymph's Grotto at Sharess' Caress. Verdant greenery and perfumed flowers trail over warm-colored furniture that sit on soft rugs; bathrobes in different sizes and textures hanging on racks line one wall, and shelves full of salts and oils trail towards a large marble pool filled with steaming water. Long recliners sit near low tables and magically-lit braziers suffusing the entire room with amber light― everything is inviting, comfortable, luxurious.
Iorveth blinks, feeling like the sharpest thing in the room. ]
...Well? [ Nudging Astarion's shoulder with his own. ] Is it to your liking?
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It'll do, [ he says with a shrug, gravitating toward the hanging bathrobes and stroking their soft fabrics. One smooth and silky, another warm and fuzzy.
Once Jessamine has taken her leave, he turns back to Iorveth. ]
You know, I feel as if I've just hired a very expensive courtesan.
[ Well, he feels a little bit like the courtesan, in truth, but old habits die hard.
Teasing, he adds, ] 'The Wicked Wood Elf', perhaps.
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An unhappy surprise for any patron that purchases him. [ Is his half-huffed reply to the suggestion that he could ever be a courtesan, looking and acting the way he does. Still, he plays along, approaching Astarion with a flourish of his hand. ]
I suppose milord would like to see how "wicked" his hired wood elf can be.
[ The answer is, in fact, Not Very. Iorveth, tipsy and affectionate, takes it upon himself to pull Astarion into a light hug instead of doing anything remotely sexy. ]
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Still, he curls his fingers in the fabric of Iorveth's shirt so that he can't go anywhere, entirely contradictory to the idea that he doesn't like it. Being embraced still feels strange, and yes, a little embarrassing, but it feels good, too, albeit in a way he feels compelled to keep private. Like some dark, twisted fantasy that he's a complete degenerate for enjoying. ]
This isn't wicked at all, [ he chides. ] Honestly, I told you that you're going soft.
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