[ Iorveth always speaks as if he knows everything; it had rankled him back then when Iorveth had insisted that Astarion would hate him if he'd taken him up on his offer, and it still vexes a little bit now. Who is Iorveth to say that he felt no desire? Sure, he didn't, but it's really rather annoying to be called out on it. Leave it to Iorveth not to mince words.
Speaking of annoyance, Iorveth is taking too long with his clothes, so Astarion takes matters into his own hands—quite literally—by undoing the clasps of his jacket. The movements are quick, deft flourishes of his fingers, by feel alone. ]
Well, I want you now.
[ It's no fault of Iorveth's that he hadn't wanted him then. It had been ages since he'd felt desire at all, his libido so dormant it was practically covered in cobwebs. Iorveth is the first person he's actually wanted to be touched by in centuries.
Playful, he raises his eyebrows. ] Shall I show you how much?
[ The world thins down to hurried stripping, and Iorveth finds it all as wonderful as it is absurd. All this time and coin spent finding a perfect, private place, and they're sparing none of their attention to appreciate it.
Doesn't matter. Astarion is the most interesting thing in his immediate periphery, and Iorveth savors him with a slide of his hands over his hips, gripping him gently to tug him inwards. ]
I won't say that I'm not curious.
[ Brushing their foreheads together, nose to nose. Iorveth sighs, rubbing small circles around Astarion's hipbone over his trousers in open appreciation. ]
Show me, and I'll show you how much I want you in turn.
[ Iorveth is, as he'd said, soft. It's entirely contradictory to what he would've expected all those tendays ago when he'd propositioned Iorveth. He'd have expected something perfunctory, fast, without sentimentality. Like Iorveth had described it: sport. It's a shocking difference now, Iorveth's sweetness on full display in a way that he's still getting used to being the recipient of.
'Reciprocation' is still a foreign concept, albeit not an unpleasant one. In the past, he would have insisted on keeping the pleasure singularly to his partner, hesitant to be touched more than strictly necessary. There's still a sense of intimidation to it, the fear of being vulnerable with another person, but there's excitement, too. Iorveth is a risk worth taking.
His jacket remains on, hanging open, undressing forgotten about for the moment while his hands have more interesting things to do. He reaches down to press the heel of his palm over Iorveth's groin, feeling the warmth through the fabric of his smallclothes, which, honestly, should already be off by now. Something he'll have to remedy. ]
[ Right for the dick. Astarion has good aim, and Iorveth sigh-chuckles at the electric feeling of that sudden friction against his still-soft but increasingly interested length; ah, he breathes, and it's more a sound of observation than outright pleasure. ]
You idiot, [ is his eventual response. ] I want all of you.
[ To the tune of what kind of question is this, even though Iorveth kind of Gets It: Astarion is asking about preferences, probably. Iorveth has a few, and finding new ones every time he takes his clothes off in Astarion's general vicinity.
He hums. Thinks about it. Fingers close around Astarion's wrist, and lifts the touch from the quickly-mounting heat between his legs. ]
Your mouth. [ And, quickly, an addendum: ] I want to kiss you for a bit.
[ Very tame― or is it??? Iorveth has no idea what value Astarion ascribes to kissing (if any), but he's made his stance on it clear sometime during his wine-fueled diatribe about killing anyone who puts their mouth on Astarion's; sex is sport, but he doesn't fence tongues for sport.
(In hindsight, the oral fixation is probably part of why he'd been so gripped by jealousy when Astarion came back with someone else's blood on his lips. A kneejerk that's mine. How embarrassing.) ]
Take your clothes off. I want us in the tub for this.
[ Astarion raises one skeptical eyebrow, eyes wary like he can't quite believe that he had his hand on the groin of someone who's only requesting to kiss. ]
Aren't you sentimental?
[ Gods, but he is. Unfortunately, Astarion feels his chest warm with pleasure, an insuppressible grin tugging at his lips. Now that's embarrassing.
He usually can't stand being told what to do in any situation that involves taking his clothes off, but it's different with Iorveth. Less threatening, gentler. He takes a step back and shrugs off the sleeves of his jacket, fingers working the laces of his trousers open. Canting his head toward Iorveth's unfortunately-still-clothed pelvis: ]
You, too. Unless you're planning on having me undress you -- I'm not at all opposed.
[ It's a balancing act, of sorts: taking initiative to give Astarion affection, while making sure that Astarion still maintains control if and when he needs it. Iorveth is learning not to temper his wants out of some misguided sense of unasked-for consideration, but he still wants Astarion to enjoy himself.
So. His smallclothes stay on for his finicky vampire to rip off later. Iorveth watches Astarion divest himself of his trousers, clever fingers unwrapping himself with graceful ease; he shouldn't gawk, but his gaze remains heated and focused on all that pale skin anyway.
Once Astarion is properly naked: ] ―Come. [ Offering his hand to take, so that he can lead them both to the obscenely spacious pool cradling all that invitingly warm water. ("Blessed by Sune," Jessamine had promised before she took all of Iorveth's coin. "It'll always stay warm, and clean itself after use!") ]
[ He really can't help himself. Astarion approaches, although he hooks his thumbs into Iorveth's underwear and tugs them down for Iorveth to step out of before doing anything else. Astarion loves and trusts Iorveth more than anyone else in the world, but that still doesn't mean he's all right with being the only one fully undressed.
Once he's satisfied with their respective degrees of nakedness, he sits on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet into the warm water to test it. The tips of his toes are slightly ruddy, characteristic of the undead. He sinks the rest of his body in a moment later, turning back to Iorveth with the most charming grin he can muster. ]
Well, come and kiss me if you want to so badly.
[ It's not like he wants to be kissed or anything! ]
[ This bath better be the best bath Iorveth's ever dipped into, for all the coin he'd spent on it. That said, the Sune-blessed water is... well, it's just water, really, and Iorveth tosses a few salts into it ("Love Spell", the label reads, but it's really just lavender) before sinking down next to Astarion with a content sigh. His idea of the ideal form of self-care: shedding armor and weapons to float, peacefully, in warm, clean water.
So. He floats. Limbs relaxed, drifting smoothly next to Astarion in the water until their knees are touching. He really doesn't need to be told twice, but he does hesitate for a moment, just to mull over whether or not he wants to keep his eyepatch on before he starts.
The eyepatch goes. Face finally bare, Iorveth leans in to press their mouths together before Astarion can get a good look at the divot where his eye used to be; tame little pecks at first, testing their alignment, until he can shutter his remaining eye closed and kiss Astarion more properly without needing to look. Palm to that perfect face, a thumb smoothing over his cheek.
After a small eternity spent prying Astarion's lips open and licking into his mouth: ] This, [ Iorveth murmurs, teeth to a soft, kiss-reddened bottom lip, ] this is mine.
[ He actually might go crazy if Astarion ever wanted to kiss someone else, which is probably not a wise thing to admit in express terms. ]
[ After so long in servitude, he should feel absolutely disgusted by the prospect of anything about him belonging to someone else. There's little he wants more than his freedom, and he should fight back against Iorveth's assertion, insist that he can do whatever the hell he wants with whoever the hell he wants. There's a little part of him, though, that likes the feeling of being coveted. How long did he feel like a worthless, replaceable rat, of no value to anyone? If any part of him belongs to Iorveth, he's glad to be cherished. ]
Ridiculous man.
[ He presses another kiss to Iorveth's mouth, as chaste as it gets when both parties are naked. When he pulls back, it's with a little bit of uncertainty on his face, like he isn't sure how Iorveth will respond. ]
[ Ridiculous, Astarion calls him, while saying something utterly ridiculous. Iorveth leans forward when Astarion pulls back, unconsciously chasing his mouth even at the expense of his pride; "love-drunk", he'd called himself. It's still apt.
A breath, in and out. Water slips between them as Iorveth floats backwards for a better look at that slight twitch in Astarion's expression. ]
Stomach what?
[ Tracing that kiss-bitten lower lip with his thumb this time, admiring the little flash of fang. ]
[ All of him, none of him. He simultaneously believes that there's no part of him too ugly for Iorveth to accept and that there's no way Iorveth won't one day grow tired of his complications. He shrugs, glancing down at his pale feet in the water. ]
I don't know.
[ He has a checkered past filled with all sorts of awful things, he's selfish and mean-spirited and not nearly as sweet as Iorveth claims that he is, and he isn't even alive by most definitions of the word. Even one of those things should be a dealbreaker for a sane person. The only reason they aren't for Iorveth is because, well, he isn't sane. ]
And you believe you would be easier to stomach if you were less of a headache.
[ Logically, yes. But Astarion is correct in assuming that Iorveth is not a sane person, and thus, Iorveth finds this claim to be absurd; he says as much, with a tilt of his head and a hike of his brow. ]
Laughable. I don't wish you to be less of a headache than you are.
[ Raking wet fingers through silver hair, enjoying the way the curls start to lay flat in messy clumps. Still the most beautiful man Iorveth has ever seen, even with limp bangs. ]
You could stand to be more selfish, in my opinion.
[ Not 'you aren't a headache'. More 'you are a headache, and I like you anyway'. It's so perfectly Iorveth that he can't help but smile -- faintly, just the tips of his fangs peeking out. ]
Ridiculous man, [ he repeats. If he were any more selfish, he would never consider another person. If he were any more selfish, he wouldn't be a headache, he'd be a full-on migraine. Astarion is delusional in many ways, but even he knows this about himself. It is objectively ridiculous for anyone to say that he should be more selfish, but that's Iorveth: ridiculous. ]
I'm plenty selfish with you, you know. I want you all to myself.
[ An affectionate roll of his eye, and Iorveth leans in for another kiss to that tempting mouth and that pretty little smile. Brief, but proper. ]
You have me, [ he sighs, as they brush noses. ] Others may know the Woodland Fox, but you know "Iorveth".
[ For whatever that's worth. He thinks that Astarion is the ridiculous one, that there are so little merits to liking a wanted man with a mangled, ugly face on a doomed mission, but he won't say so out loud; every time he does, Astarion seems to hate it. That little thorn that Iorveth hasn't extricated entirely yet: I don't deserve you.
Another sigh, and thumbs over Astarion's pretty brow. Stupid, how he can't seem to stop touching him. ]
[ An understatement. Bizarre, really. When they'd first met, he could barely see himself tolerating Iorveth for extended periods of time, much less liking him. The thought of loving anyone, but especially a stick-in-the-mud, self-righteous defender of elven rights, was too farfetched to even consider. He was a lone wolf, entirely out for himself, miserable and terribly lonely without even realizing it.
With a damp hand, he slicks Iorveth's hair back out of his face. Handsome, no matter what Iorveth says.
A little dreamy: ] I think you've melted me. [ Then: ] You really should take responsibility for what you've done.
[ Counting eggs before they hatch, etc. Astarion might come to resent Iorveth in the same way that Iorveth is so convinced that he'd resent Astarion if he'd been a kept pet, but he'll contend with that shoe if it ever drops from its potentially precarious perch on their many, many ledges. Iorveth is more than a little aware that they are both beings made up of red flags and steep slopes.
Whatever. Let Astarion destroy him, Iorveth doesn't care. He'll be happy if the thing that kills him is Astarion's teeth in his neck― better him than any human.
A morose thing to be thinking of when they're so perfectly warm and relaxed in a tub, though. Gears grind in Iorveth's brain, course-correcting to focus on all that pink-pale skin that he can be tasting and touching. ]
That was rather the point. [ Melting him, taking responsibility. Iorveth nuzzles into the hand on his cheek, then reaches to see if Astarion will be amenable to sitting on his lap. ] ―Before I take responsibility.
Does it still give you pause, to be the one receiving?
[ Asking, before Iorveth assumes. His hand runs up Astarion's thigh, enjoying the feeling of lean muscle. ]
[ Gods, he's so embarrassed that the tips of his ears practically burn bright cherry red with shame. Discussing his hang-ups is the opposite of sexy. It's a reminder of all the ways he falls short, that he's damaged beyond repair. He doesn't move, not yet, save for sinking a little deeper into the water. ]
It hasn't always felt— pleasurable.
[ Another understatement. Few people ever gave a shit if he was enjoying himself. If they had cared, maybe they would have noticed how miserable he was.
Iorveth isn't like that, of course. Iorveth doesn't see him as only a means to an end, wouldn't use him like a tool without regard for his feelings. Iorveth loves him, as unbelievable as it feels to be loved by someone. ]
...But if it's you, [ he adds, ] I doubt there's any way you could touch me that wouldn't drive me mad.
[ Unfortunately for Astarion, Iorveth Has To Talk About It. The downside to being in a relationship with someone who wants to know more than he needs to about the things he's taken a personal interest in; Iorveth, incorrigibly, will always Want To Know.
So. Despite the two bottles of wine still swimming in his system, Iorveth forces the world to remain in focus as he watches Astarion deliver his verdict. It occurs to him how much he fucking hates every single person who has ever touched Astarion and left him feeling hollow, but all of them are emaciated spawn hiding somewhere in the dark, now-- giving any of them any thought is a waste of time at this point.
A softening of his features, and Iorveth brushes fingertips to Astarion's jaw. ]
Even so. Speak up, if anything displeases you.
[ And, after a beat, he offers as reciprocal vulnerability: ] ...I would trust you with binds and manacles, but I wouldn't relish blindfolds. Even if I knew you were on the other side.
[ Iorveth's peace offering of vulnerability seems to mollify him, his shoulders a little less hunched, his gaze a little less wandering. One corner of his mouth tugs up, grateful for the evening of their playing fields. ]
All the better. I'd hate to cover up any of that face.
[ Not entirely true — the idea does appeal on some level; if Iorveth couldn't see, Astarion would be entirely in control. If Iorveth weren't enjoying himself, though, he couldn't bear it. Even the slightest hint that he ever made Iorveth feel the way he used to feel, and he thinks he'd retch.
A moment of thought passes before he says, ] I'd like to try new things. And old things, I suppose.
[ To find out what he likes and what he doesn't. When he says 'no', he wants it to be because he doesn't want it, not because his past is coming back to bite him. ]
[ Cazador is dead. Let him turn to bone, and then to ash, and let nothing of him remain. Just a shadow that Astarion remembers on occasion, less and less in frequency; Iorveth exhales through his nose, low and slow, and leans back against the edge of the tub. ]
We'll try it all. Gods know I'll not be protesting.
[ Freak elf. Scarred lips curl, confident for all the wrong reasons. ]
You can bind me to the headboard next time. But tonight...
[ He stretches, and lifts himself out of the water. Upsides to having gotten the Lover's Suite: there's bottles of oils and massage-related items everywhere. ] ...I want to fuck you senseless.
[ Even Astarion knows that their companions would complain if he started tying Iorveth up in their shared room, but— well, that's an issue to be resolved another time, probably after Astarion has actually done it and Gale has gotten traumatized again. There's something nice about Iorveth offering a little tit-for-tat, giving up control physically in exchange for giving up control emotionally.
But Astarion can't give up control entirely, because that's not who he is. He can't deny that he's nervous, and nothing makes him feel better when he's nervous than bossing people around. He turns to watch Iorveth, dripping wet and lovely, as he steps out of the water, arms folded over the edge of the pool. ]
Then you could at least seduce me a little bit.
[ Talking about Astarion's neuroses doesn't count. Edgar and Nicholas never did that! ]
Show me how badly you want to, and maybe then I'll let you.
[ A headache, Astarion had said. It's maybe a bit of that now, with the demand for Iorveth to prove himself, as if he hasn't been spending the entire night trying to make Astarion feel spoiled and safe and seen; how else, Iorveth would say if he wasn't aware of the shadow that looms heavy over Astarion's shoulder, the "hangups" (a quaint term for something so unspeakable) that make it a miracle, still, that Astarion will allow Iorveth even this much physical contact.
Astarion can have the control, if he wants it. To do anything that would make Astarion feel used and reduced would be abhorrent; no amount of physical relief would be worth that stain on his most important person's soul.
So, as Iorveth lifts some basic massage oil from a shelf and comes back with it, still dripping little puddles on the floor: ] You would have me beg you on my hands and knees, if you knew I would do it without protest.
[ A light, easy grouse. Not a pushover, even at his softest. Still, Iorveth adores his stupid, lovely vampire-- his single eye is warm when he addresses Astarion, obvious about looking at him and only him. ]
Beloved. [ Simply, as he sits on the spacious couch near the edge of the pool, shifting to face the other man in the water. ] I want you.
[ Oil drizzles onto his palm, which finds itself slicked against his semi; showing, not telling. Iorveth sighs, chest rising and falling with the effort, as he lolls his head against the back of the couch. ]
[ The mental image of Iorveth crawling on his hands and knees and begging for him does appeal, although even he can't imagine it without also imagining Iorveth complaining about it the entire time. He grins, both at the idea and the grousing. He likes Iorveth because he isn't a pushover, because his softness and warmth is reserved for Astarion alone. Because Iorveth can kill a man in the morning and curl up with Astarion in the evening. Because he calls Astarion 'beloved' and means it, which makes him feel even more tingly than the sight of Iorveth's palm against his erection.
He's too easy. A few sweet words, and he might as well be putty in Iorveth's hands — melted, as he'd said. Astarion follows him, lifting himself out of the water to come laze beside him on the— well, it's really more of a chaise lounge than a mere couch, if you ask him, but he wouldn't expect a forest-dweller to know the finer points of furnishing. He stretches his legs out in front of him and leans back to watch, two polite inches of space between them and puddles forming at their feet. ]
[ The return of the godsdammed polite space. Astarion's slink onto the couch (chaise???) is distinctly reminiscent of a cat who wants attention but is also ready to slip away at a moment's notice; Iorveth imagines a curled tail swinging lazily behind him, smug and contemplative, soft triangular ears pricked and attentive.
Another sigh. Insane, that he thinks the bad behavior is cute. Mirrored thinking: gods, Iorveth hopes that Astarion never stops being the most infuriating person ever. ]
Do you ever get tired of being so beautiful, [ is another grouse, as Iorveth finds the right grip around his length, the right amount of friction that makes his pulse flutter without pitching him too close to a frenzy. He keeps his eye on Astarion, watching him as he brings himself to full attention. Hungry, but keeping himself in check. ]
Tell me how to make me want you less.
[ A tease. Completely unserious, given what he's doing with his hand on his cock, given the pleasantly flushed state he's floating in. ]
[ Astarion pauses, expression thoughtful, before he cocks his head and grins. ]
Mmm — no, and no.
[ A word he finds he loves saying now, even to such little — and ridiculous! — requests such as this. ]
It's impossible, I'm afraid. There is no cure for your affliction. [ His grin widens, fangs on display. ] And if there were, I'd never tell you.
[ It would be the right thing to do, though. Iorveth deserves stability and security and all of the things that a vampire clothed in red flags can't provide, but Astarion is selfish, and he only longs for Iorveth to want him more and more every day. Maybe in a few centuries, he'll be able to come close to how badly Astarion wants him. ]
But luckily for you, I'm very generous. [ A shove of Iorveth's shoulders as Astarion attempts to manhandle him onto his back. ] I've decided to take pity on you.
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Speaking of annoyance, Iorveth is taking too long with his clothes, so Astarion takes matters into his own hands—quite literally—by undoing the clasps of his jacket. The movements are quick, deft flourishes of his fingers, by feel alone. ]
Well, I want you now.
[ It's no fault of Iorveth's that he hadn't wanted him then. It had been ages since he'd felt desire at all, his libido so dormant it was practically covered in cobwebs. Iorveth is the first person he's actually wanted to be touched by in centuries.
Playful, he raises his eyebrows. ] Shall I show you how much?
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Doesn't matter. Astarion is the most interesting thing in his immediate periphery, and Iorveth savors him with a slide of his hands over his hips, gripping him gently to tug him inwards. ]
I won't say that I'm not curious.
[ Brushing their foreheads together, nose to nose. Iorveth sighs, rubbing small circles around Astarion's hipbone over his trousers in open appreciation. ]
Show me, and I'll show you how much I want you in turn.
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'Reciprocation' is still a foreign concept, albeit not an unpleasant one. In the past, he would have insisted on keeping the pleasure singularly to his partner, hesitant to be touched more than strictly necessary. There's still a sense of intimidation to it, the fear of being vulnerable with another person, but there's excitement, too. Iorveth is a risk worth taking.
His jacket remains on, hanging open, undressing forgotten about for the moment while his hands have more interesting things to do. He reaches down to press the heel of his palm over Iorveth's groin, feeling the warmth through the fabric of his smallclothes, which, honestly, should already be off by now. Something he'll have to remedy. ]
What part of me do you want?
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You idiot, [ is his eventual response. ] I want all of you.
[ To the tune of what kind of question is this, even though Iorveth kind of Gets It: Astarion is asking about preferences, probably. Iorveth has a few, and finding new ones every time he takes his clothes off in Astarion's general vicinity.
He hums. Thinks about it. Fingers close around Astarion's wrist, and lifts the touch from the quickly-mounting heat between his legs. ]
Your mouth. [ And, quickly, an addendum: ] I want to kiss you for a bit.
[ Very tame― or is it??? Iorveth has no idea what value Astarion ascribes to kissing (if any), but he's made his stance on it clear sometime during his wine-fueled diatribe about killing anyone who puts their mouth on Astarion's; sex is sport, but he doesn't fence tongues for sport.
(In hindsight, the oral fixation is probably part of why he'd been so gripped by jealousy when Astarion came back with someone else's blood on his lips. A kneejerk that's mine. How embarrassing.) ]
Take your clothes off. I want us in the tub for this.
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Aren't you sentimental?
[ Gods, but he is. Unfortunately, Astarion feels his chest warm with pleasure, an insuppressible grin tugging at his lips. Now that's embarrassing.
He usually can't stand being told what to do in any situation that involves taking his clothes off, but it's different with Iorveth. Less threatening, gentler. He takes a step back and shrugs off the sleeves of his jacket, fingers working the laces of his trousers open. Canting his head toward Iorveth's unfortunately-still-clothed pelvis: ]
You, too. Unless you're planning on having me undress you -- I'm not at all opposed.
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You can do me the honor.
[ It's a balancing act, of sorts: taking initiative to give Astarion affection, while making sure that Astarion still maintains control if and when he needs it. Iorveth is learning not to temper his wants out of some misguided sense of unasked-for consideration, but he still wants Astarion to enjoy himself.
So. His smallclothes stay on for his finicky vampire to rip off later. Iorveth watches Astarion divest himself of his trousers, clever fingers unwrapping himself with graceful ease; he shouldn't gawk, but his gaze remains heated and focused on all that pale skin anyway.
Once Astarion is properly naked: ] ―Come. [ Offering his hand to take, so that he can lead them both to the obscenely spacious pool cradling all that invitingly warm water. ("Blessed by Sune," Jessamine had promised before she took all of Iorveth's coin. "It'll always stay warm, and clean itself after use!") ]
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[ He really can't help himself. Astarion approaches, although he hooks his thumbs into Iorveth's underwear and tugs them down for Iorveth to step out of before doing anything else. Astarion loves and trusts Iorveth more than anyone else in the world, but that still doesn't mean he's all right with being the only one fully undressed.
Once he's satisfied with their respective degrees of nakedness, he sits on the edge of the pool, dangling his feet into the warm water to test it. The tips of his toes are slightly ruddy, characteristic of the undead. He sinks the rest of his body in a moment later, turning back to Iorveth with the most charming grin he can muster. ]
Well, come and kiss me if you want to so badly.
[ It's not like he wants to be kissed or anything! ]
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So. He floats. Limbs relaxed, drifting smoothly next to Astarion in the water until their knees are touching. He really doesn't need to be told twice, but he does hesitate for a moment, just to mull over whether or not he wants to keep his eyepatch on before he starts.
The eyepatch goes. Face finally bare, Iorveth leans in to press their mouths together before Astarion can get a good look at the divot where his eye used to be; tame little pecks at first, testing their alignment, until he can shutter his remaining eye closed and kiss Astarion more properly without needing to look. Palm to that perfect face, a thumb smoothing over his cheek.
After a small eternity spent prying Astarion's lips open and licking into his mouth: ] This, [ Iorveth murmurs, teeth to a soft, kiss-reddened bottom lip, ] this is mine.
[ He actually might go crazy if Astarion ever wanted to kiss someone else, which is probably not a wise thing to admit in express terms. ]
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Ridiculous man.
[ He presses another kiss to Iorveth's mouth, as chaste as it gets when both parties are naked. When he pulls back, it's with a little bit of uncertainty on his face, like he isn't sure how Iorveth will respond. ]
It's all yours, if you can stomach it.
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A breath, in and out. Water slips between them as Iorveth floats backwards for a better look at that slight twitch in Astarion's expression. ]
Stomach what?
[ Tracing that kiss-bitten lower lip with his thumb this time, admiring the little flash of fang. ]
What part of you do you think I wouldn't stomach?
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I don't know.
[ He has a checkered past filled with all sorts of awful things, he's selfish and mean-spirited and not nearly as sweet as Iorveth claims that he is, and he isn't even alive by most definitions of the word. Even one of those things should be a dealbreaker for a sane person. The only reason they aren't for Iorveth is because, well, he isn't sane. ]
I only mean that I'm not without my headaches.
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[ Logically, yes. But Astarion is correct in assuming that Iorveth is not a sane person, and thus, Iorveth finds this claim to be absurd; he says as much, with a tilt of his head and a hike of his brow. ]
Laughable. I don't wish you to be less of a headache than you are.
[ Raking wet fingers through silver hair, enjoying the way the curls start to lay flat in messy clumps. Still the most beautiful man Iorveth has ever seen, even with limp bangs. ]
You could stand to be more selfish, in my opinion.
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Ridiculous man, [ he repeats. If he were any more selfish, he would never consider another person. If he were any more selfish, he wouldn't be a headache, he'd be a full-on migraine. Astarion is delusional in many ways, but even he knows this about himself. It is objectively ridiculous for anyone to say that he should be more selfish, but that's Iorveth: ridiculous. ]
I'm plenty selfish with you, you know. I want you all to myself.
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You have me, [ he sighs, as they brush noses. ] Others may know the Woodland Fox, but you know "Iorveth".
[ For whatever that's worth. He thinks that Astarion is the ridiculous one, that there are so little merits to liking a wanted man with a mangled, ugly face on a doomed mission, but he won't say so out loud; every time he does, Astarion seems to hate it. That little thorn that Iorveth hasn't extricated entirely yet: I don't deserve you.
Another sigh, and thumbs over Astarion's pretty brow. Stupid, how he can't seem to stop touching him. ]
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[ An understatement. Bizarre, really. When they'd first met, he could barely see himself tolerating Iorveth for extended periods of time, much less liking him. The thought of loving anyone, but especially a stick-in-the-mud, self-righteous defender of elven rights, was too farfetched to even consider. He was a lone wolf, entirely out for himself, miserable and terribly lonely without even realizing it.
With a damp hand, he slicks Iorveth's hair back out of his face. Handsome, no matter what Iorveth says.
A little dreamy: ] I think you've melted me. [ Then: ] You really should take responsibility for what you've done.
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Whatever. Let Astarion destroy him, Iorveth doesn't care. He'll be happy if the thing that kills him is Astarion's teeth in his neck― better him than any human.
A morose thing to be thinking of when they're so perfectly warm and relaxed in a tub, though. Gears grind in Iorveth's brain, course-correcting to focus on all that pink-pale skin that he can be tasting and touching. ]
That was rather the point. [ Melting him, taking responsibility. Iorveth nuzzles into the hand on his cheek, then reaches to see if Astarion will be amenable to sitting on his lap. ] ―Before I take responsibility.
Does it still give you pause, to be the one receiving?
[ Asking, before Iorveth assumes. His hand runs up Astarion's thigh, enjoying the feeling of lean muscle. ]
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[ Gods, he's so embarrassed that the tips of his ears practically burn bright cherry red with shame. Discussing his hang-ups is the opposite of sexy. It's a reminder of all the ways he falls short, that he's damaged beyond repair. He doesn't move, not yet, save for sinking a little deeper into the water. ]
It hasn't always felt— pleasurable.
[ Another understatement. Few people ever gave a shit if he was enjoying himself. If they had cared, maybe they would have noticed how miserable he was.
Iorveth isn't like that, of course. Iorveth doesn't see him as only a means to an end, wouldn't use him like a tool without regard for his feelings. Iorveth loves him, as unbelievable as it feels to be loved by someone. ]
...But if it's you, [ he adds, ] I doubt there's any way you could touch me that wouldn't drive me mad.
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So. Despite the two bottles of wine still swimming in his system, Iorveth forces the world to remain in focus as he watches Astarion deliver his verdict. It occurs to him how much he fucking hates every single person who has ever touched Astarion and left him feeling hollow, but all of them are emaciated spawn hiding somewhere in the dark, now-- giving any of them any thought is a waste of time at this point.
A softening of his features, and Iorveth brushes fingertips to Astarion's jaw. ]
Even so. Speak up, if anything displeases you.
[ And, after a beat, he offers as reciprocal vulnerability: ] ...I would trust you with binds and manacles, but I wouldn't relish blindfolds. Even if I knew you were on the other side.
It's the same principle, one supposes.
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All the better. I'd hate to cover up any of that face.
[ Not entirely true — the idea does appeal on some level; if Iorveth couldn't see, Astarion would be entirely in control. If Iorveth weren't enjoying himself, though, he couldn't bear it. Even the slightest hint that he ever made Iorveth feel the way he used to feel, and he thinks he'd retch.
A moment of thought passes before he says, ] I'd like to try new things. And old things, I suppose.
[ To find out what he likes and what he doesn't. When he says 'no', he wants it to be because he doesn't want it, not because his past is coming back to bite him. ]
I don't want to let him take from me anymore.
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[ Cazador is dead. Let him turn to bone, and then to ash, and let nothing of him remain. Just a shadow that Astarion remembers on occasion, less and less in frequency; Iorveth exhales through his nose, low and slow, and leans back against the edge of the tub. ]
We'll try it all. Gods know I'll not be protesting.
[ Freak elf. Scarred lips curl, confident for all the wrong reasons. ]
You can bind me to the headboard next time. But tonight...
[ He stretches, and lifts himself out of the water. Upsides to having gotten the Lover's Suite: there's bottles of oils and massage-related items everywhere. ] ...I want to fuck you senseless.
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But Astarion can't give up control entirely, because that's not who he is. He can't deny that he's nervous, and nothing makes him feel better when he's nervous than bossing people around. He turns to watch Iorveth, dripping wet and lovely, as he steps out of the water, arms folded over the edge of the pool. ]
Then you could at least seduce me a little bit.
[ Talking about Astarion's neuroses doesn't count. Edgar and Nicholas never did that! ]
Show me how badly you want to, and maybe then I'll let you.
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Astarion can have the control, if he wants it. To do anything that would make Astarion feel used and reduced would be abhorrent; no amount of physical relief would be worth that stain on his most important person's soul.
So, as Iorveth lifts some basic massage oil from a shelf and comes back with it, still dripping little puddles on the floor: ] You would have me beg you on my hands and knees, if you knew I would do it without protest.
[ A light, easy grouse. Not a pushover, even at his softest. Still, Iorveth adores his stupid, lovely vampire-- his single eye is warm when he addresses Astarion, obvious about looking at him and only him. ]
Beloved. [ Simply, as he sits on the spacious couch near the edge of the pool, shifting to face the other man in the water. ] I want you.
[ Oil drizzles onto his palm, which finds itself slicked against his semi; showing, not telling. Iorveth sighs, chest rising and falling with the effort, as he lolls his head against the back of the couch. ]
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He's too easy. A few sweet words, and he might as well be putty in Iorveth's hands — melted, as he'd said. Astarion follows him, lifting himself out of the water to come laze beside him on the— well, it's really more of a chaise lounge than a mere couch, if you ask him, but he wouldn't expect a forest-dweller to know the finer points of furnishing. He stretches his legs out in front of him and leans back to watch, two polite inches of space between them and puddles forming at their feet. ]
Go on.
[ A headache. ]
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Another sigh. Insane, that he thinks the bad behavior is cute. Mirrored thinking: gods, Iorveth hopes that Astarion never stops being the most infuriating person ever. ]
Do you ever get tired of being so beautiful, [ is another grouse, as Iorveth finds the right grip around his length, the right amount of friction that makes his pulse flutter without pitching him too close to a frenzy. He keeps his eye on Astarion, watching him as he brings himself to full attention. Hungry, but keeping himself in check. ]
Tell me how to make me want you less.
[ A tease. Completely unserious, given what he's doing with his hand on his cock, given the pleasantly flushed state he's floating in. ]
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Mmm — no, and no.
[ A word he finds he loves saying now, even to such little — and ridiculous! — requests such as this. ]
It's impossible, I'm afraid. There is no cure for your affliction. [ His grin widens, fangs on display. ] And if there were, I'd never tell you.
[ It would be the right thing to do, though. Iorveth deserves stability and security and all of the things that a vampire clothed in red flags can't provide, but Astarion is selfish, and he only longs for Iorveth to want him more and more every day. Maybe in a few centuries, he'll be able to come close to how badly Astarion wants him. ]
But luckily for you, I'm very generous. [ A shove of Iorveth's shoulders as Astarion attempts to manhandle him onto his back. ] I've decided to take pity on you.
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